Break it to me gently

by Chris Kelly

“They know I’ve got bad news to deliver, so it’s no good me beating about the bush; I’ve just to tell them the way it is!” This is roughly what one of my clients was saying to me last week. He was obliged to gather his workforce together and confess that redundancies for some of the staff had been planned. Understandably he just wanted to get the ordeal over with as quickly as possible.

It reminded me of that old joke where the Sergeant has to tell one of the soldiers that his mother has died – so he calls them all onto the parade ground and says “All those of you with a loving mother at home take a step forward. Wait! Where do you think you’re going Jones?” brutal and cruel, and perhaps not very funny.

I was concerned that my client was going to be regarded in the same way – as some uncaring member of the management who was out of touch with the workforce. Instead, after some discussion, we explored how this speech would sound if we followed the classical structure endorsed by the ancient Greeks. This would mean beginning, not by breaking the bad news but by showing the workforce how he, the Managing Director, was really one of them. I was won over when he revealed he’d formerly worked in virtually every part of his engineering works. The Greeks would call this ETHOS (letting us know who you are). Next he had to make sure the audience understood the whys and wherefores of this decision, so the facts and figures had to be included – what the Greeks would call LOGOS – and lastly he had to finish the speech with a display of sympathy and regret PATHOS as he revealed the action he was about to take; to lay-off some 40 members of staff. The bad news was now at the end of the speech rather than at the beginning and overall the whole announcement sounded so much better – and he came out of it well too.

As I listened to the finished speech I was reminded of how the ancient Greeks knew exactly what they were doing. Following the order of Ethos, Logos and Pathos works every time.

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Are you speaking English?

by Chris Kelly

If you ever go to Kiev, in the Ukraine, like I did last week, be highly suspicious of anyone who tries to convince you that their local delicacy, Salla (raw smoked pig fat) is delicious and will melt on your tongue. With profuse apologies to all my Ukrainian readers, it doesn’t and it’s just as revolting as it sounds. Maybe you have to been born and raised eating it. I’m sticking to Jaffa cakes.

I was there working again with some terrific lively and inventive media people. Understandably not everyone in the group of 25 was fluent in English. However something remarkable emerged; it really didn’t matter all that much.

Those speakers who showed enthusiasm, despite their poor command of English, made great eye-contact and tried their best to engage with the audience were more successful than those who spoke it well but lacked commitment.

Once again it proved to me that the power of body-language, eye-contact and appropriate facial expression, in combination with a varied vocal tone, far outweighs content. Often I didn’t really know what they were trying to say, but I wanted them to succeed: I wanted to buy what they were selling.

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Give it a rest!

April 13, 2012

For most of the many years I’ve been coaching people in speaking skills, the majority of my students have needed to show greater enthusiasm, add more energy and give their delivery more attack. Usually apprehension and stage-fright turns inexperienced speakers into timid mice! Just once in a while I come across a speaker who displays [...]

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Rehearse, rehearse and rehearse again!

March 23, 2012

I’ve been working with an enormous media agency once again, this time over in Germany. I spent two days polishing up the speaking skills of thirty-five delegates who had enrolled on the course; helping them to persuade and influence more effectively – especially when pitching to new and incumbent clients. I was very impressed by [...]

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What are we arguing about?

March 13, 2012

Now you’d think an argument or a persuasive talk, is just that, an argument; where you’re trying to win others over to your point of view. You’re always going to want to get others on side, but it’s worth recognising that there are different kinds of arguments – or persuasive talks. They can be divided [...]

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Don’t fight – instead agree!

March 7, 2012

One way to get your audience to agree with you, is for you to agree with them. In an earlier blog, titled “What do they say behind your back?” I wrote about starting your persuasive argument by identifying what’s called the commonplace; the opinion held by your audience. Although you’re usually out to refute that [...]

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What do they say behind your back?

February 27, 2012

If you’re a regular reader of my blogs you’re probably saying about me, “Where have you been? It’s been a couple of weeks since you posted anything: you’re getting lazy!” I could defend myself by saying I’ve been extremely busy – and I have, but if I want to persuade you that the accusation of [...]

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The Hard Sell

February 6, 2012

Have you ever noticed that advertisers put their products through hell? Instead of showing you a small run-about car being driven sedately to the shops – which is inevitably what it’ll spend its entire existence doing – they show you it climbing Mount Everest, skidding round dirt-tracks or surging over hills partly-airborne at colossal speeds. [...]

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Are you for me or against me?

February 1, 2012

I suppose the most likely answer to the question I’ve posed in the title of today’s blog is that you’re neither! You’re probably completely indifferent. However by presenting you with a choice that’s so severely limited to just two options, then I’m beginning to manipulate how you can answer. You’ll feel obliged to be on [...]

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How to Start an Argument!

January 26, 2012

Most people don’t need any help starting arguments. You only have to chuck “isn’t it about bloody time you did the washing-up?” at your significant other to see the sparks fly! No, I’m not recommending you develop the bolshie side of yourself in this blog and start picking fights. What I’m writing about is how [...]

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